I remember distinctly the moment when, having crossed solidly into adulthood, it became clear that the general consensus was that New Years Eve was overrated and exhausting. I remember feeling sad and a bit confused that every one had suddenly come this conclusion without me. Because I still enjoyed New Years Eve.. I kinda still thought it was magic.
NYE 2011. I was at my brother and sister in law’s house for their New Years party. I left early to go hang out with some dude who didn’t deserve it, let’s call him Nameless Jerk. He was always awful to me but for some reason I felt like he was worth leaving a bitchin party for. I drove from Allen to Carrollton on New Years Eve, to get there and be asked to immediately go get us food at Whataburger. I went because I wanted to make him happy I guess. When 2011 turned into 2012, I cried because I was on the highway with a front seat full of fast food, all alone, instead of with that Nameless Jerk who I for some reason thought might think more of me if we were together when the clock struck midnight. It was an awful way to start 2012.
But 2012 was the year I met Paul, and you all know how that one ends. But I had no idea, at the end of 2011, that I’d end the next year with the man I’d end up doing forever with.
NYE 2014. The last New Years Eve before I became a mother. It was probably our biggest NYE ever and I know now it was because the next several wouldn’t be about us. We partied in downtown Dallas, ate at the fanciest restaurant we’d ever been to, drank entire bottles of champagne, and attended a boudoir show, all with amazing friends. Less than two months later I was pregnant for the first time and I never saw it coming, how 2015 would change my life. How Grayson would change my life.
NYE 2019. We had just gotten home from a family vacation in Missouri with Paul’s wonderful family. The biological magic that would become our daughter was already starting. I. Had NO. IDEA. When we rang in 2020 Anya was already with us, although very very small, and that is the reason that despite everything we’ve been thru this year, 2020 could never be the worst year of my life. I have everything I’ve ever wanted, and I didn’t even know it last year.
All this to say.. The magic of this night is that I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Or next month. Or throughout 2021. But it could literally be ANYTHING. It could be amazing. Good things are coming for me, for you. I just believe this, especially on NYE.