Surprise! We are expecting a little baby in September. I kept this huge secret for a relatively long time (even to my own parents) for a very specific reason. As you’re well aware, we have two boys already. My stepson Ryan, age 10. And my son Grayson, age 4. (He’ll turn 5 in October.) Women receive a ton of annoying, stereotypical commentary as mothers of Only Boys. Don’t you want to try for your girl? Who will do girly things with you? DON’T YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS MISSING?

Well, hi. This is why I kept my pregnancy a secret until I knew the gender for 100% certain.

For the record, nothing was missing. We did not “try” for our girl. Full disclosure: this baby was a miracle in her own way. (In the words of Pam from The Office: “HEY. Our baby was not a mistake. She was a surprise.”) Honestly, I admit to feeling disappointed five years ago when I found out my first pregnancy had resulted in a male child. But the second I met this kid it was LITERAL love at first sight. Holy wow, I can not imagine a more perfect child for me. Any time I attempt imagining my life without him, I shut it down real quick. It simply does not compute.

However, upon alerting the boys we expected a new family member, they made it super clear at every opportunity that they expected the baby to be female. They deemed another boy in the family utterly unacceptable. “I already have a brother here,” Ryan explained. (Incidentally he also already has a sister, she just lives at a different house, which I suppose was his logic. I can’t fault him for it.) Grayson called the baby Girl Baby with no prompting from me.

I admit, I hoped for a girl. But unlike during my first pregnancy, I felt such peace at the idea of having a second/third boy. I just ended up loving my Grayson so undeniably. I knew having a second boy would be just as wonderful as the first time, and that it would feel right. Whoever this baby turned out to be, I already loved the idea of him or her completing our family.

But I also knew what people would say.

Well thank the Lord. I won’t ever have to deal with that. WE ARE HAVING A GIRL BABY! I took an at home gender test (which, ps, wasn’t even a thing five years ago) and got a girl result. Understandably, I felt skeptical, as I’m sure you can well imagine. So I also had genetic testing done at the doctor. Finally, three days ago, I got the call. Confirmed: our baby is a little girl. Her name will be Anya.

Ryan and Grayson are proud and pleased, and literally can’t wait to meet her. That makes four of us!

I feel so happy we did this for our kids. Obviously, we intended to use these photographs as a social media announcement. And due to the pandemic we ended up unfortunately using videos of this gender revelal as a way to tell even our parents that we were actually pregnant. But this was fun for the boys. It was a genuine surprise, and the joy they felt anticipating their new sibling and beginning to imagine who she’d be was such a great diversion for them in trying times.