Album No. 97: Grayson and His Cookie, Dallas TX

July 11, 2018

dear grayson..from mommy

This post is a little bit “Dear Grayson” and a little bit “This Day Last Year.” Because these year old pictures came across my Memories on Monday and I’ve been staring at them ever since.

I’m not one of those people who curses the racing flow of time. My son has only been around almost three years but I’ve never glanced back at his baby pictures and shaken my fist and cried “WHY, TIME. WHYYY?” Because I know why: because three years has passed. It really has. I’ve never felt like I blinked and missed it (though I know a lot of people feel this way).

Maybe it’s because I take so many pictures. And I capture so many moments like this.

These are literally candid, at home pictures of my son Grayson eating a cookie (and having the freaking best time, ps). He looks a lot now like he looked a year ago. Just a slightly baby-er face.

This isn’t going to be a post about Grayson eating a cookie (still one of his favourite things to do though). This is going to be about that smile, and how I never could have imagined how I’d feel every time I saw it.

The father of my children, pictured above being fed a cookie by our gleeful then-1-year-old, is called Paul. Paul is from Chicago, which is cool and not cool at the same time. It’s cool because it’s a whole new city I got to explore. And because I ended up with someone not from the South (no offense, I love Texas something fierce). And because Chicago is objectively top-10, gold star, highly recommend. But also not cool because half of our family is soooooo far away all the time. We see them twice a year if we’re lucky. For a few days at a time.

Chicago is where my baby is this week, because he and his brother (my other heart) are visiting their Yaya.

(Who is this happy ever? A kid eating a cookie and looking at his daddy, that’s who.)

Once a year, Ryan and Grayson go up to Chicago to spend a week in Chicago without me and Paul. They get total Yaya and Grandpa time, not to mention Grammy and Papa time. Lucky boys – they also have the coolest great grandparents on the planet.

These trips sound like they’d be super hard for me as a mom, but honestly? Every time I see a picture of him or talk to him on the phone (OMG, y’all, he’s two and a half and we get to TALK ON THE PHONE now…HEART) I can tell how much fun he’s having. And he has his best friend in the world there, his big brother Ryan. I’ve always been blown away at how quickly he gravitates to his Chicago grandparents, even after going months without seeing them.

So we have a week without kids. It’s not at all as glam as it sounds; we didn’t take off work or even go on a date this week. Don’t give me that look! We just bought a house; there’s NO spare money for dates. But we have had a lot of alone time. A lot of time to talk. And a lot of time to look at pictures of our kids and wish they were here while at the same time so grateful they get time with their Chicago family.

Grayson, I am so glad you’re having an amazing time in Chicago. I hope someday you realize what amazing grandparents you have in Dallas and Chicago. You are so loved by so many people, and is it any wonder why? LOOK AT THIS FACE. The pure joy while he does something as simple as eat a cookie? Who could keep themselves from loving that?

And these details. These details I captured with my camera a year ago, unaware exactly a year later I’d be looking at them and letting them keep my heart warm while my baby was 1,000 miles away. He’ll never been this little again and I’m so glad I have these pictures to help me remember that time (that was not actually that long ago).